The Identity Iceberg:
Whatever happens in your life, whether it be good, bad or indifferent, you don’t let fear hold you back…Do you?
You might wonder where fear comes from? The Identity Iceberg helps to break this down.
90% of an iceberg is below the water/unseen.
10% of an iceberg is above the water/seen.
Think of the Titanic. It wasn’t the ice above the water that sank the ship, it was the ice below and out of sight.
Like most people, it’s not what is above the water line that’s sinking them in life; it’s what lurks below. Yet people often make change at such a surface level and then wonder why it doesn’t last very long.
New Year’s Resolutions are a great example of this.
Let me break it down for you.
Above the water/ tip of the iceberg is your behaviour. Your actions and decisions are reflected in those behaviours. That is what you see of other people, and what they see of you.
The problem with change is that we tend to only try to change the top of the iceberg – our behaviours.
This will often result in very short term change, so we need to move down a level (below the water line) which is where your skills come into play.
This is your skill set and what you’re good at.
Here’s an example:
If you’re a good cook you will tend to cook for people when they come over. If you’re a bad cook you’re more likely to order take out or go to a restaurant.
The point here is that you will do more of what you are good at; and guess what? The more you do it, the better you become at it.
It’s a self fulfilling prophecy.
You don’t usually do the things you’re not good at, so you have very little chance of ever ‘getting good’ at them.
The level below (further into the water) are your beliefs.
A belief is something you hold to be true; it doesn’t necessarily mean it is true.
Ask yourself, how do your beliefs impact your skills and your behaviours?
Another example:
Maths – When you’re at school as a small child of 6 and you’re told you’re no good at maths, you immediately believe it. If you’re told you are good at maths you will, more than likely, try harder in class and be more willing to deal with your maths homework, therefore progressing your skills.
So as a child of only 5 or 6 years old, being told you’re no good at maths, do you worry about studying it? Do you try hard with it?
For most people the answer is usually “No” – because you don’t think you’re any good at it, so what’s the point in trying?
So guess what? You’ll never get good at it.
To change, you need to change your belief level of the iceberg. In fact, you need to go a few levels even deeper than that too…
Values – Your values determine your beliefs.
What kind of values you hold determine what kind of things you believe in, what your skill set is and ultimately what your behaviour looks like.
Think about what your values are.
For example, if you were a sales person and one of the things you value in life is acceptance from others, how successful do you think you would be at sales?
Not very, because you want acceptance. You don’t want to push for a sale in case you are told that awful word “No”. You don’t want to cold call, for a sale, in case they don’t like you.
You need to look at your values and see if any are impacting you or holding you back from potential success.
Are any of your values changing your beliefs? Could you alter some of your values?
The next level down is the base. This is your identity.
What is your identity?
Two of the most powerful words in the English language when coupled together are “I” and “am”. Such tiny, but powerful words.
Everything you say after those two words defines you:
I am a parent.
I am an artist.
I am confident.
I am successful.
OR you could say things like:
I am poor.
I am lonely.
I am useless.
I am a failure.
What you say TO yourself, ABOUT yourself when you are BY yourself is what matters the most.
Maybe try using empowering language about yourself?
Try writing 20 empowering statements about yourself and read them out morning and night.
See what impact that could have on you.
Around the iceberg is water. This is your environment.
The environment which you put yourself in is going to determine a lot of whether you are successful or not.
The people you spend time with, the books you read, the TV you watch. The environment you put yourself in day to day.
Think about what your environment is doing to your identity right now and what affect that then has on the stages up the iceberg and out of the water, to the tip of the iceberg.
Your environment has a lot to do with the makings of your identity/values/beliefs.
Identity makes up beliefs. Beliefs alter your values. Your values impact your skills and ultimately your behaviour and therefore your success.
The actions and decisions you make come from that very base level environment.
So what do you need to change about your environment today to move yourself forward? Our Business Growth Expert could help you on your journey with a gifted coaching session.
